ItZ a tHuG LifE

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Since one of my roommates lives in our kitchen on a small cot next to the fridge and uses the stove as a bedside table, I’ve had to come up with some creative ways to cook. So I got steamer (for free. I know a guy) and a kettle (13 €. I didn’t know a guy) and have been working from there. My diet mostly consists of rice, lentils and vegetables, supplemented by crepes from the good place nearby. Cereal is sort of an option but it feels weird waking up Shayne to get the the fridge in the morning. He’s 71. He needs his rest.

Speaking of Shayne: The dude’s a baller. Like I said: He’s 71. He’s been married a bunch of times and has kids ranging from 30 to 12. You do the math. That’s right, he was impregnating some way younger French woman when he was like 60. He spends his days working on various writing projects, watching movies (and House) and smoking as much weed as he can afford. My other roommate (a very nice guy who does graphic design and moved here to escape LA) calls Shayne “a beat poet without a publisher.” And that’s exactly what he is. He’s this nutty dude who has been living in Paris for like 30 years. He writes and takes pictures and tries to get with younger women. So nowadays he’s after 50 to 60 year-olds. And all the while he’s talking about lines of energy and how it’s just such a relief that most communication happens telepathically--otherwise we would have to waste so much more time talking to each other. He’s nuts and I love it. The only drawback is that occasionally when I walk in the door (after climbing to floor 4 1/2 and saying “hi” to the kitten who lives on the stairs), he’ll corner me and force me to listen to the play he’s revising. Sometimes it’s the one on Joan of Arc; Sometimes it’s the one on Eva Hitler. Heavy stuff all around. Anyway, thanks for reading. Tune in next week for the entry in which I explore my latest theory: If Asian girls are the last stop for gay guys, are French guys the last stop for gay girls? Think about it.